Being human can really be challenging. We feel emotions with every breath we take and every move we make. Some emotions are so sweet that we never want to lose them. Other emotions cause us anger and hurt, paralyzing us with pain. Our minds use anger as a memory of pain that we have experienced. The memory is usually due to the fact that we neglected to express the pain right when it occurred for one reason or another.
We tend to not show our anger or hurt because we don’t want to cause a conflict, hurt someone’s feelings, or even admit those feelings. We hang onto it because once we actually show we are angry, we are showing we are not perfect and that in fact we are human and can feel pain. But if we continue to push away our feelings to protect our perfect selves, we become less real and less connected to people in our lives, without even realizing how far we are pushing them away. Protecting another person from our pain or anger is only imprisoning ourselves, so that they will never be able to reach us. If we do this long enough we cannot find happiness anywhere.
When we are asked why we are upset, we can’t even find the beginning to the hurt we have hidden. The longer we hide our pain and anger the more confusing they become. Things get all tangled up and if we dare try to explain, we are totally speaking another language. Has someone ever hurt you and made it impossible for you to explain why you are angry? Are they not willing to listen or, if they do listen, they devalue your feelings? Those people can do a lot of damage; they are controllers. When you can identify that type of person, only then can you fight back and tell them, “Please, just shut up and listen”. Holding on to pain will leave you depleted and unhappy. It will definitely drag your self-esteem down.
Hurt is the pain that happens at the moment, when it’s happening right now. The reason is right there in front of you. You must deal with it or it will linger in the back of your mind and end up creating a prison of loneliness. The longer you hold back, the angrier you’ll become for not expressing it. That’s when resentment moves in without you noticing and taking over, making you want to get even with that person. Your negative thoughts are seeded now and nothing feels good. This is not goo. It is definitely not easy to risk being called oversensitive, told that you’re just causing a fight, or they just laugh it off. You may even find that this person doesn’t really care about you. Better to find that out now, don’t you think?
These feelings of hurt and anger have a way of taking over our lives. Is it not better to express them out now than to live an unhappy life of silence? Tell someone how you feel when you feel it or you will only lock those feelings up inside you and trust me, you will lose yourself. You may even hurt the one you love, but honesty is the best way. I believe that with a true love you should be able to tell that person anything and, yes, even if you feel hurt or angry. Love conquers anger and hurt. It battles jealousy and helps lift you to a higher self-esteem! To be truly happy and not endure the prisons of negative emotions, we need to be heard. We need to be understood. We need to be forgiven. We also need to be loved and cared for.
My awesome readers, on that note, I will leave you with another tip to strengthen your courage to keep climbing that mountain to a better you! Take responsibility for your life. You have the power to make things better. Most importantly, you have a choice!
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